You will see that I have cleverly given this site a serious looking title, so you can read it in your office and everybody will think you are hard at work on pie charts.

 17 December 2014

I really am going to sort this place out come 2015, but in the meantime I have added a shop because like the Pirate Captain I am all about internet monetisation. Fill your boots.

 22 October 2014

Look! It's my once-every-three-years site update. I am unstoppable like bear.

Mostly I have dicked about eating cheddar mini babybel since 2012, which is why I have not had much to say. At some point the Pirates film received an unlikely Oscar nomination and I got to go and hang around in LA as Nick Park's date. I trod on Recce Witherspoon's dress and got blanked by Jeffrey Katzenberg. The canapes were shaped like little oscar statues, but they weren't very nice. There is a brief glimpse into my thrilling life which is always like that.

Between then and now I also wrote a NEW BOOK which you probably have many questions about.

You can still buy the ebook versions of The Pirates! In An Adventure With... from the usual terrible places. I think the first one is down to about a pound. If you don't like ebooks because you're one of those weird people who bang on about "the sheer joy one gets from smelling a physical book" I have a few copies myself that I need to get rid of (because I am the sort of adult baby who buys the Lego Grand Emporium to build and Lego Grand Emporiums take up a lot of space).