I meant 'Mesa' flakes, not 'Mensa' flakes in that last entry. Mesa flakes have a picture of Monument Valley on them and are what native Americans would have eaten in the oldendays when they weren't being sad about litter. I don’t think Mensa flakes even exist, but if they do they'll be made from flakes of Norris McWhirter's brain, and eating too many of them will get you blown up by the IRA.
I’d definitely be smart enough to eat Mensa flakes because today I have been reading two different books. Two different books, but in the same day! Like Reed Richards! To show how diverse my interests are the books are poles apart. The first book is by Daniel Dennett and it's called Breaking the Spell. Of his other books that I've read I reckon Darwin’s Dangerous Idea is brilliant, Consciousness Explained is quite good, and Freedom Evolves has got good bits but is mostly rubbish (Dennett's pal Conway gave a lecture at Cambridge on the same topic that was also rubbish, because he pretty much tried to prove that we had free will by dropping a pen and then saying 'I chose to drop that, you see!'). But so far Breaking the Spell is great, even though it's been given some bad write ups by idiots in the papers. Their main objection seems to be that he's not going to win any converts by comparing religion to a fluke worm, but to be honest, despite his protestations, I don’t really think he's all that bothered.
Anyway, the best thing I've learnt from the book so far is that in the 50's the UK granted Cephalopods "honorary vertebrate status" in the eyes of the law, which means you’re not allowed to beat them with a rolled up newspaper like you can with slugs and that. I'm guessing there must have been some sort of ceremony, where all the cephalopods were invited to Buckingham Palace and given a little spine in a commemorative box. Did the cephalopods give us anything back, like, say, a detachable swimming penis ? Did they f*ck.
The second book I’ve been reading is Elizabeth Gondrey's less controversial Things to do on Summer Days. Sample entry: "Big round pebbles can be painted with poster-paint, then sprayed with varnish. Next time you have a tea-party, you could paint a friend's initials on each one and put it at his or her place at the table." I hope Dennett employs this simple trick next time he is having the world's religious leaders round for tea, because it's bound to provide a nice talking point and diffuse a potentially awkward social situation. Also, he can throw the pebbles at their heads when they all start banging on with that "Ah, but who’s to say science isn't just a religion too!" rubbish.