Remember the story of the Boy Who Cried Wolf? That is what will happen if you use this contact form to send me fake emails from Jennifer Garner. How will I be able to tell when the real Jennifer Garner tries to get in touch? I won't! So stop it, you idiots.

Send an email. And if you're an eccentric millionaire fan, send a few jewels too. My favourite jewel is a sapphire, but anything's good.